Thoughts: call me, don’t text me

Really? I’d rather being called then texted.

There was an article in NYT Don’t Call me, I won’t Call You that says that NOBODY calls anymore.

“It’s at the point where when the phone does ring — and it’s not my mom, dad, husband or baby sitter — my first thought is: “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” My second thought is: “Isn’t it weird to just call like that? Out of the blue? With no e-mailed warning?”

“I remember when I was growing up, the rule was, ‘Don’t call anyone after 10 p.m.,’ ” Mr. Adler said. “Now the rule is, ‘Don’t call anyone. Ever.’ ”

Phone calls are rude. Intrusive. Awkward.

Isn’t it pathetic? If you asked me few years ago, I’d say that’s normal and I’d prefer being emailed or texted rather than be called. When I was focused on studying, being depressed or stressing out, I didn’t want anyone to call me EVER (even conversation with Star would be “eh.. ah… oh… ok, bye!”, I just wanted to be ALONE and MISERABLE! Well…that’s pathetic!!!

But now with friends and families, I strongly prefer talking in person when possible or by phone. Of course partly is because now I have plenty of time to meet with them. But if they can’t, I try to call them, even without a purpose, simply to chat or catch up. Why? Because I find talking person to person is a more engaged action (you can answer an email in 10 sec, but a phone call is usually longer than that), it shows your appreciation to the person, it shows your emotions toward that person more transparently, it allows deeper connection than some print words. In particular, when it comes to friends, sometimes talking is just another way to “work” or maintain a relationship. If you just text or chat, what would be the conversation?



“how’s going?”

“pretty good”

“cool, u?”


end of conversation.

What do you get from this conversation? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! and what was your opportunity cost? NEARLY ZERO because you could do this with 5 other persons at the same time. Because you don’t “invest”, you don’t expect return either. Progress on your relationship? NONE!

However when you talk by phone, you’re willing to talk more about yourself and usually more interested on the other person’s life too. You can infer from the tone how’s the other person doing and that invites a follow up conversation. A conversation with a friend can boost your spirit, much more than a long email; it shortens distance between two person beyond the physical distance. Every time that I talk to my best friend, I miss her more, our friendship deepens and it confirms that she’ll be my best friend forever!

I am still working on taking the initiative to call but afraid that the other person does not think this way, then it would be intrusive. What if he/she is busy on something? What if he/she prefer an email notice? What if she/he doesn’t want to waste time “talking about nothing” with me?

Q: What’s your stand on this? Do you prefer to be called or emailed/texted?


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7 responses to “Thoughts: call me, don’t text me

  1. I absolutely would rather talk to someone on the phone than text them. Maybe it’s my age, but too much texting just annoys the hell outta me!

  2. I hardly ever text. I think I’ve done it like 5 times in my whole life! I just can’t get into it, and I”m thankful for that, lol.

  3. Weighting For 50

    I’m with you, a total caller, not a texter! Have a great day! Power to the callers! 🙂

  4. thedelicateplace

    i really like emails. i hate being texted because i pay for it! i’d either be called or get an email if it’s just a quick chat thing.

  5. I am with you bby! My preference is a phone call all the way! I feel like us phone people are a dying breed!

  6. Oh gosh, I have such a hard time getting my friends to call me!! We are to the point where we have to set up “phone dates”. I have friends who live out west and on the East coast, and in Chicago. With all of them I set up phone dates and even THEN sometimes they don’t call!! It’s pathetic. They say they don’t have time, even though it only takes about 20 minutes (one tv show) to catch up with a good friend. I think in two years I won’t ever talk to my friends on the phone again 😦 It’s so sad!

  7. DiningAndDishing

    this is such a hot topic – i’ve been thinking about the same thing! i’ve gotten to a point now where i don’t like the phone much at all. the only people i like talking to on the phone with are people who live far away so we don’t see each other often. if it’s a friend that’s close and we’re just making plans or whatever, i am a text lover all the way!

    – Beth @

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