I meant to write a post on disappointment for a while. It’s not something that happened to me recently but an accumulation of events that led me to think about disappointment.
Because it’s not an everyday event, because I hardly get disappointed for real, I haven’t learned how to deal with it.
True disappointment lasts long, way beyond its first effects on one. Thus it’s not until much later one realizes that it was a real disappointment because even days, weeks, months after its occurrence, one cannot go over it.
Why and when we get disappointed? When it shakes our value system, it changes our believes and course of action. I wonder who’s to blame to? The “they” who made us disappointed or “us” who believed in something mistaken in the first place? Maybe no one, it’s just part of life, although I find the latter a bad and irresponsible answer. Often times, when I can’t find an answer, I’d rather force myself to believe that it’s part of life. But then later on, I end up with the same questioning, which means the previous answer did not satisfy me.
Or maybe disappointment is just a way to tell us that we don’t live in a pink bubble. There’s isn’t a perfect friend, boss, coworker, lover, parent, etc. Nothing is perfect and we shouldn’t even seek it. This is very true, no one is perfect, I am not, I have plenty of flaws and I am sure I’ve disappointed someone badly. So why to feel bad when I get disappointed? Because I was naive in certain ways.
Accepting disappointment is a process. It could take months or even years, hopefully it has an end.