Life: overwhelmed


I am so overwhelmed by life events!!! Too much happen in a short period of time. I didn’t have time to digest them nor to take rest.

A short trip to China went well. For the 6 days I spent there, I took care of my dad at the hospital during the night so my mom could have some rest after the shock she had. Although I slept less than 15 hrs in total over a week, it worth the effort. My dad recovered very well and was discharged from the hospital before I left. Although he’s at home now, he still needs be to taken care. And from now on, a real change in lifestyle. He finally realized the importance of having a healthy diet. I wish he realized it before so the heart attack could have been avoided, but it’s not too late either.

My way back to home wasn’t any easier because Sofia had fever while I was in Shanghai and was still not feeling well when I was back.

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The day she had the highest fever (102.4) was when she was at the daycare (Monday), and the teacher called Star to pick her up. For the first 36 hrs, she didn’t eat any solid and didn’t sleep well. Star kept offering milk to her every 2-3 hrs and she’d take 2-3 oz. each time. By the time I was back, she didn’t have more fever but was still not well. The moment I saw her, my heart was broken because her chubby cheek was gone. Clearly she has lost weight and wasn’t feeling herself.

There’s nothing more heart breaking for parents to see the child being sick. I wish I could be the one suffering, ten times of hers. Although she was fever free on Wednesday I decided to keep her at home one more day so she could recover better. This was also the day Star left. 😦 We’re on our own now. On Thursday she was fever free but didn’t seem normal yet, she didn’t want to eat breakfast, only took some milk. I took her to the daycare hoping that playing with other kids would distract her.

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I was so wrong. The moment I left the daycare, she cried, badly, my heart sunk. 😦 Around noon I called to check on her and the teacher says she didn’t eat nor sleep but was still crawling around. I started to worry. By then time I finished lunch, I got a call from the teacher, I had to pick her up immediately because she had rash all over her body.

I run into the daycare. When I entered, she was lying on the floor looking tired and uncomfortable. The moment she saw me, she started to cry, inconsolably, as to blame me for letting her there when she was sick. I could never ever forget that look. It was the first time that I felt like a failure as a mom. On our way home, I cried in the car doubting everything I was sure about.

After some milk and a nap, I took her to the pediatrician. She was diagnosed with Roseola, a common virus that starts with high fever and ends with a rash. Actually it was good that she had the rash, it meant she was getting better.

I stayed with her the next day at home and she got better. She started to eat solid and took extra long naps (2.5-3 hrs). Although she was still not interested in anything but being held, it was actually good bonding time for us, I needed it too.

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Today, Saturday, she’s almost back to normal. Her rash is gone and she’s eating, playing and smiling. 🙂

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I knew that starting daycare would mean more sick days, but there was no way to emotionally prepare for that. It’s still very hard for the parents to have a sick baby no matter how common people tells you that it happens.

On top of this, I also have to work. Having a sick baby at home means I can’t go to office and can only work from home when she takes naps and sleeps at night… this leaves me exhausted and not very productive. I can’t function like this for long…. we need to find a solution! But I’m too tired to think now… I just want to rest.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Life: overwhelmed

  1. Sorry things have been so stressful, Coco! I’m glad your dad is doing better.

    And, yes, having a sick child is very, very hard. Never forget that you are a wonderful mom and that being sick once in a while is unfortunately a part of growing up.

    I’m glad Sofia is doing better. Hopefully you can get some rest!

  2. kristaskravings

    What a tough month for you and your family! I’m glad to hear that both your Dad and Sofia are doing better. Having illness in the family is a scary thing! Never doubt that you are a good Mom, though! We do the absolute best that we can with decision making in the moment.

  3. laika

    Hugs Coco. This sounds so stressful and hard. You are such a strong and wonderful mom. Could you have a backup nanny to take care of Sofia at home? this may provide you a break during the day when you can work.

  4. I am only catching up on your blog now and I am so very sorry to hear things haven’t been going well. I’m also sorry to hear about your father, please know that I will be praying for him and for your entire family! :o)

    BTW, I thought you might like to know that I will be visiting Shanghai in early November. I am very excited to get to know your beautiful city.

  5. Coco, I’m so glad to read that your dad is doing a little better! You guys have been on my heart for a while now….I can’t imagine how tough it must be right now, and with Sofia feeling that way! Coco, don’t feel like a failure because you are doing a marvelous job! You’re doing your best and the rest will work out~I’m sure Sofia is going to understand that soon. 🙂 Take care of yourself and God bless you with lots of strength and courage during this time!!!!

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