Yesterday I had some good ME time. I went for a massage. When I was having the massage, I had Sofia in my mind all the time. From the conception to the pregnancy and the birth, all happened so fast. Here I am, being a mother of a lovely 6 weeks baby already. From the outside I’m the same, but I know I’m not. I’m not a new person but I’ve taken a new role, maybe the most important in life. I feel a sense of responsibility that I’ve never felt before. Although I know how she will be as an adult and how she will do in life do not depend only on what I do, but I do have a big deal of it. A friend of mine who has a one year old boy told me that she wouldn’t want a girl because she would be too worried about everything. Girls get hurt too easily. Being a girl myself I never felt that way. In many sense I’m stronger than men. What made me feel like that? I wondered. I think it is the confidence that my parents let me to have since being a child. I never felt overprotected but at the same time always felt loved. There is a fine line between them and not every parent can trace that well. I know myself well enough to realize that is going to be harder for me than it was for my mom. hopefully being aware of it and working consciously on finding the line will work. My dad studied Sofia’s birth day and told me that she will have a strong character, probably like mine. This means we will have a lot of argues, just as I had with dad. I know it will break my hurt when my love and good intention to protect and give the best get misunderstood, and she will eventually do just what she wants no matter what I say or do (just as me). Then? what should I do? Do not dictate what she has to do, inspire her, encourage her, support her, communicate with her, and let her be. And always explain her the logic of my reasoning to reach such a conclusion/advise. Treat and respect her as an individual who has her own thinking.
At 5:30 am this morning, holding Sofia after giving her a snack, I wonder how long will I be able to hold her and protect her this way? I am sure it’s going to be shorter than I want. So embrace this moment is what I tell myself in each of this moment of closeness to my baby. I love her soooo much, in a way that I’ve never thought possible. What a miracle! To love someone that you just met few weeks ago, who doesn’t show you love, who you can’t expect anything back other than a surprising smile. Despite all this I’m crazily in love with this person and so happy about being in love this way!
Yesterday Sofia didnt take any nap in the morning but she was happy, played with herself for a while. Looked at as as we had breakfast
I made a french toast using 1 TJ’s Tuscan pane, 1/3 cup egg white and 1/3 cup of almond milk and cinnamon.
topping was a coconut frosty, coconut flour, coconut milk and coconut oil. YUMMY!
The morning involved a lot of walking, bouncing, aka. entertaining the baby.
and then lunch time. Bok choy and dry shrimp noodles with a lot of chili sauce.
Maybe too much chili for a breastfeeding mom, but Sofia didn’t seem to be bothered.
A morning without any sleep results in an overtired baby and mama. What to do then? my last weapon, nurse to sleep. Again we went to the basement bedroom, we lied on the opposite side, half nursing half sleep for 1.5 hrs. She was still asleep when I left for massage.
when I came back Sofia just finished having her afternoon snack. Well, a bit more than a snack, she drank 3.5 oz. I wonder if that’s a bit too much for a 6 weeks old baby. But that seems to be how much she’s been drinking for a week and doesn’t seem to feel uncomfortable afterwards. Maybe that explains how much I’ve been pumping (8-10 oz., which makes up form the two feedings that my mom gives to S). so, I had to pump. although my pumps really great and convenient, I can do anything while pumping, but still I prefer hundreds time more nursing S.
After that I had a great workout at my mini gym. I jogged for the first time in a long while. I jogged for only 15 min at 5.5 mi/hr and it was not easy. The most uncomfortable part is my girls! bouncing with them is PAINFUL. I need to get some more supportive sport bra, or use two? I will try again today. I know it will take time to regain the running strength, but I love the building up process itself, so I don’t mind! 🙂 I also did the Post-pregnancy workout. I must say I’m kind of disappointed. Although the abs section which is 30 min is challenging, the rest (legs and arms) is repetitive to her other workouts (Metamorphosis that I own). So my plan is to restart the metamorphosis workout and intercalated with the abs section of this.
Dinner was simple, a stir-fry of napa cabbage, black fungus and chicken sausage
As you can see, corn is my addiction #1, black fungus might be #2.
and mom and I shared a soup made with napa cabbage, rice noodles and fish balls.
Sofia took a catnap while we ate
and then started to scream for bath and food! 🙂
She fell sleep at 8pm, slept 4 hrs, 3 hrs, 2 hrs and 1 hr. 10 interrupted hours of sleep is not too bad for a baby of their age! 😉 We’re getting 4-5 hrs of her longest stretch every night, which makes me a happy and proud mama! 🙂