Journal: scared to death


It’s 2 am, after 4 hours of failed attempt to sleep, I gave up and came to type this post!

This evening, something very very frightening happened and I am still in shock mode.

Mom was cooking dinner, Sofia was napping on the bouncer, I just finished my “workout”. Everything seemed great. And then I gave Sofia Vitamin D drops. She choked!!!! 😯 She couldn’t get it down and was coughing and having problem breathing!!!! I didn’t know what to do but to hold her upright and pat her back! But it didn’t seem to help… I got panic! What to do? How should I help her? My mom came and did the same… looking at Sofia suffering and not knowing what do was the WORST THING EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE!!! I grabbed my phone and called the emergency nurse line of our Ped. I had to say it three times before the lady understood what I was saying… and she got panic too! As we talked, the sound of something stuck in her tongue seemed to have disappeared and she calmed down, sleepy. I put my hand under her nose to see if she was still breathing. I shacked her, she responded. Okay, she’s fine! But still… I was still in panic mode. I told the nurse that Sofia seemed to be fine and asked her how to avoid and help her if it happens again.

As I hold her after I hung up the phone. I felt terrible. If anything had happened, I wouldn’t never forgive myself!!! I shouldn’t give her those drops without knowing properly how to do it, I should have taken CPR class, I shouldn’t focus so much on the sleeping issue as long as my baby is healthy. Oh my godness…. why I was so narrow sight to focus something sooooo irrelevant instead of enjoying my healthy live baby.

Anyway… the scariest thing ever!!! I hope this ever happen again!!!

okay. How was the rest of the day? Good overall (now after the incident, everything else seems irrelevant). She ate three times the night before (12:50, 2:50 and 5) Sofia nursed and slept the whole morning. The 3-hrs feeding schedule went out of the window. She ate every 2 hrs by clock, although many times just for 5 min and passed out. She didn’t take any nap in the afternoon and again, she couldn’t sleep longer than an hour after I put her in bed at 8:30 pm. I’m wondering if the lack of sleep in the afternoon causes over tiredness that makes night sleep not so good. Another thing that I realized today is that she might suffer from gas. Reflux is under control now that I hold her upright for a good 20 min after feeding and she has been spiting less. I suspect she has gas because she’d gasp, wheeze, arms up, shake her head, pull her legs up, and her face in discomfort/pain. Maybe that’s why she can’t sleep well. I called the ped and the nurse suggested to try Gripe Water. I got it in CVS but after the incident I was too afraid to give more liquid to her in a syringe so I’m going to get a pacifier with medicine dispenser tomorrow. Hopefully that makes her more comfortable.

She feels and sleeps the best on my shoulder

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Yawning is her way to tell mama that she needs to sleep

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After a good morning of naps, I was in mood to prepare a good lunch. I made Mama Pea‘s pumpkin tofu curry. I follower her recipe almost exactly except I used full fat coconut milk and honey instead of maple syrup.

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and paired it with millet. A nice com for meal. 🙂

What a day!!! Now it’s 2:46 am. Sofia last ate at 12:10, so she’d wake up anytime and meanwhile I’d research for baby gas remedies. Sleep is not going to happen tonight for me and I’m totally fine with it because I’m going to be holding this precious girl!!! 🙂

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Journal: scared to death

  1. kristaskravings

    Oh, Coco! You must have been so frightened! I think that we don’t truly know fear until something happens to our children. Both mine have given me terrifying shocks that left me limp & trembling. I’m so glad that she sorted herself out before things got worse. (((HUGS)))

  2. How scary!! Kevin does the gasping/wheezing thing too because of his reflux. He also coughs and sounds like he is choking sometimes when he eats, and the doctor told me that is a reflux symptom too. I hope it gets better for you soon!

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