Here are the books that I have in my bookshelf, finished most of them already
the last one I finished and really enjoyed reading is Nurture shock
The central premise of this book is that many of modern society’s strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring – because key twists in the science have been overlooked. As someone who appreciates research based analysis and recommendations, I really like the book. It is eye opening because many of the findings from well designed and implemented researches show just the opposite as what we would have thought. Few things that found very interesting:
- The inverse power of praise. We’d think that praising our kids would build confidence on themselves and encourage them to do more things that they wouldn’t otherwise. Well, this is not always true! Only when we praise them for their effort, it has the positive effect. If we only praise them by saying: you’re such a smart girl!” You’d more likely to raise a kid that will only do things she thinks she’s good at, and when she encounter an obstacle, she’ll feel defeated and therefore stop doing it. So it’s better to praise the effort, therefore make them understand that they’re valued and appraised by their effort on doing things, and not their innate intelligence.
- Lost hours. It’s extremely important to let kids to sleep 7-8 hrs per night. Do not fill their schedule so tight that they don’t get enough sleep because it can harm their bran development.
- Why kids lie. Kids don’t lie to hide something, they lie to please their parents. So if you make them understand that it would make you happy if they tell you the truth, they’re more likely to do it.
- The search for intelligent life in kindergarten. Nowadays there’re interviews/test to get into special programs of kindergarden. However, intelligence is not developed until 5 years old. So kids who get admitted to gifted programs are not necessarily the most intelligent ones in few years.
- Play well with others. Often parents argue in front of the kids. The problem is not that parents argue, but that they do not resolve the argument in front of the kids. Resolution has to be sincere and it’s a great lesson for the kids to learn about how to compromise and reconcile.
- Conclusion. Two common assumption that we make that are wrong and lead to false conclusions. The first assumption is that things work in children in the same way they work in adults. The second assumption is that positive traits necessarily oppose and ward off negative behavior in children. The tendency to categorize things as either good for children or bad for children pervades our society. We tend to think that good behavior, positive emotions, and good outcomes are a package deal: together, the good things will protect child from all the bad behaviors and negative emotions. The researchers are concluding that the good stuff and the bad stuff are not opposite ends of a single spectrum. Instead, they are each their own spectrum. They are mutually independent. Because of this, kids can seem to be walking contradictions. A child can run high in positive emotions and high in negative emotions. There can be wild disconnects between children’s stated opinions and their actions.
I’m more excited reading baby books than buying baby clothes! How weird and nerdy I am! 😉
Q: Have you read any good baby book?