The presentation went smooth, I got everyone’s attention for 90 min, they were a lot of questions and discussions, maybe time among the audience. So at least I can say, I got them interested in the topic. After that, I got two emails from colleagues congratulating me about the presentation, that they really enjoyed it and found the findings interesting. And then two senior economists told me good job on the hallway.

I should be happy about getting positive feedbacks, right? Instead… I wonder do they just say that to be nice? or they really meant it.  I want to say that no matter they meant it or not, I appreciate the gesture because they didn’t have to. I also want point out that I’m a very confident person and I got the feeling that it went well. However, it made me think how should I react in the future to colleagues or friends’ presentations/works? Should I always show the gesture even I don’t mean it just to be kind? Is it the rule of the game at a professional environment?

Few weeks ago I attended a friend’s presentation and it was bad!!! I didn’t like the topic, I didn’t like the way he presented it, I didn’t think he responded well the questions the audience raised. As a friend, I couldn’t lie to him that he did a good job. It’s against my principle to do that, it’s too hypocrite. I didn’t want to tell him my real thoughts either because I might hurt his feelings. Afterwards, I asked a colleague/friend how should I manage this situation? and he told that never ever say it was bad. Really? never ever? even it’s a close friend of you?

I’m confused.

From one hand, it is true that nobody likes to hear criticism. No matter how you tell him/her, he/she will feel bad.

From the other hand, if everyone acts like this, I’d never know how to improve? And that’s not really helpful. I would like my friends to tell me what I did wrong and how I can improve it, that’s why they’re my friends. And also when you know that your friends tell the truth, you can believe them when they say you did well. Isn’t it?

Am I the only concern about this issue? Am I thinking too much? Should I just follow the trend and tell what people wants to hear?

Or maybe there’s a third way…. tell the criticism as a suggestion, and then tell him/her how he/she can improve it. That’s called constructive criticism. One senior person in my division gave me great comments (not criticism) about my paper, and I benefit so much from it. I learn where I can improve on, why I should and how I do it! I think maybe this is the answer! Only give comments and suggestions when they could help the other person to improve, not just give criticism that for sure make the other person feel bad.

What do you think?

the overview

the lower part we store beers, wines and soda

the middle two shelfs are mainly snacks. Lower shelf has assorted kinds of chips

the upper shelf right are nuts, mainly cashew and peanuts (Star’s favorites!)

on the left, chocolates, a lot of them!!!! These are my daily necessities

upper left: pringles, my mom’s daily snack

right: cookies, all kinds of cookies and my bag of fiber one

top shelf are mainly my stack of fiber one (I eat 1/2-1 cup per day to keep things moving ), canned of organic pumpkin (haven’t used them for a while ) and some canned salmon

that’s the current state of our pantry, kind of embarrassing, right?

Q: What do you have in your pantry?

We had many many snacks!

We made chinese dumplings again

More than 30 people cam

they chatted, played ping-pong, played two kinds of table cards, eat tons of snacks and a lot of chatting for 7 hours!!!! By the end of it, I was so tired… so I went to my room and had some quiet time. I felt that I was not a good host to be with the guests all the time… but they are mainly Star’s coworkers that I haven’t met before… so I didn’t know much what to talk about. After eating the dumplings and clean all the dishes… I called it done!

It’s Monday and I’m staying at home! My work is so great that yesterday they send all the stuff an email saying that the building will two hours late (due to weather conditions) and I could choose to work at home. Wonderful!!! With the rain and snow, I really really don’t want to go out!

Q: Are you good at keeping a secret?

I went downstairs really excited to tell the news to my dad. He was waiting to see big snow since he arrived two months ago!

Since any plan to go outside was out… I made stay-in as fun as possible. And what’s better to make some brownies?

Whole wheat brownie with pecan adapted from Eat Clean Cookbook

• 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1/3 cup butter
• 4 eggs
• 1/4 cup brewed coffee
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 cup toasted pecan

1. Preheat over to 350F
2. Melt chocolate and butter in a double boiler until melt
3. mix sugar, eggs, coffee and vanilla.
4. add melted chocolate and butter mixture
5. combine flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt.
6. add wet to dry ingredients and add pecans
7. pour batter into a 9-inch square pan previously greased
8. bake for 30-35 min

It’s chinese new year today! A party is about to start!

See you next year!

Q: What do you like to do on snow days?

Over the last long weekend I finished two books that I started this year after my new year resolutions.
The first one is Heart matters by Emily Griffin. It’s the fourth book of her that I read. Although they are very similar and feminine in term of story and characters, I do enjoy reading it.

The story is engaging and the characters are real people. It’s a story of good people caught in untenable circumstances. Each being tested in ways they never thought possible. Each questioning everything they once believed. And each ultimately discovering what truly matters most.
It reminds me the reality of the marriage, that ups and downs are part of the contract we signed for. It also reinforced the idea that I have about finding the person who you know you can live with even without passion because passion fades with time, maybe sooner than you thought, but a relationship lasts decades. Know what matters the most for us is important, specially in those moments that we feel facing a cross road and indecisive about which road to choose.

Next book to read from her: Baby Proof.

Q: What was the last book you read? did you like it?