Saying NO!


I’ve never had problem before saying NO to people/request and I didn’t understand people who has problem with that. Well… until recently, until I saw myself struggling, stressed out simply because I was afraid to say NO and to put a limit to abusive people around me. Why it’s hard to say no? Because we’re afraid of what others might think about us, we’re afraid of the consequences if we say no to them, because we want to feel useful. But you know what? NONE of these is more important than our SPIRIT, our MORALE. If they can’t accept it, it’s their problem, not ours. We need to put ourselves in FIRST priority.

I’ve been having this problem lately and it has been hard. Yesterday I finally made the decision and declined the request. It was liberating!!! :lol:

Variations of How to Say no (source)

Plain No: All you do is say no and move on. This is the least effective of the various techniques.

Mirroring No: This variation involves sympathy where you communicate an understanding of the person’s situation and follow it up with your declining statement. Your child’s sports coach asks you to be the team manager. You could respond with a mirroring no by saying, “I understand your after a team manager. It must be tough trying to organize the team… but I won’t be the team manager this season.”

Reason-why No: Many studies have proven that if a person provides a reason for carrying out an action then the action is more likely to be accepted. If a charity worker asks for a donation you can say, “No I won’t donate because I’ve donated to another organization last week” or “No I won’t donate because I don’t want to.” The second example’s reason for not donating seems stupid but even though no new information was provided the reason adds persuasive power.

Delayed No: Just say “You’ll get back to them at a later time.” In the mean time, the person may find someone else to do the job or the problem may have been solved.

Conditional No: You state the conditions that you would accept the person’s request and if these conditions aren’t met you will decline their request. Only use this technique if you are willing to accept the request. The person may end up adjusting the initial request for you under your listed conditions which will put the burden on you to follow the adjusted request. Your child’s sports coach again asks you to be the team manager and you respond with, “I will be the team manager if you can guarantee that it requires no more than 2 hours of work a week. If not, I’ll have to say ‘no’.”

Painful No: This variation of saying no involves stating the future pain the person would receive if you declined their request at a later time. Your boss asks you to take on an extra assignment and you reply with, “For both our sake I’m going to say no. The quality of my work declines when I’m not focused on one assignment and I don’t want to give you bad work, hurt my position here at the company, and as a result make you get someone else to redo the assignment at a later date.”

Respectful No: Firstly, use one of the above variations. If the person persists with their request then use the respectful no variation. What you say communicates your wishes for the person to respect your decision. An example is “Please don’t make the same request again. I’ve said ‘no’ so can you please accept that?” Do this with “soft” body language so you don’t come across as aggressive.

These are useful tips, I wish I’ve read them earlier ;)

*************

First oatmeal this summer (or end of it): blueberries + AB + flax meal + blueberries, topped with cottage cheese

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mmmmm……it was good but I still prefer some bread now

Throw together salad continued: lettuce, tomato, steamed broccoli, mozzarella, 3 tbsp olive + 1 tbsp balsamic.

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and steamed corn. Enjoyed watching TV at home! :D Working at home is good! . :)

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I know some lady likes sweet dessert… but I don’t have sweet tooth, so I had edamame instead  ;)

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Took a powerful 30 min nap and back to work! :D Working at home is good x 2 :lol:

I didn’t feel like snacking anything solid, so I made a black rice and lotus seed drink

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look how many drinks I had in my desk

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I went to the gym for 40 min ET while watched the night news (fancy gyms are good! ;)) and a power yoga class. It’s indeed a gym yoga class, a lot of flow and core work at the end, and lady gaga music as background. Yeah~ picture it… doing yoga with lady Gaga’s song.

Dinner time!!! FIRST HOMEMADE PIZZA!!! :lol:

okay.I’ve made unconventional pizza but I didn’t make the crust. So, crust was on the project.

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I made the dough few days ago and freeze it. It was easy and convenient to make a big batch and save it for later.

I like thin crust pizza so I rolled it well

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as topping, I shredded a large zucchini, put it in a milknut bag

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squeeze it well to drain the extra liquid

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ricotta cheese + nutritional yeast + S&P

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base was simply tomato paste

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top with dry and fresh basil

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bake at 400F for 20-25 min. Meanwhile… I snacked some more edamame and roasted kabocha :D

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homemade PIZZA!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

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the crust is perfect, thin, chewy and crunchy!!!

Side dish was black fungus and shiitake mushroom salad.

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A fusion dinner right? ;)

Q1: Do you find hard to say no?

Q2: What’s your favorite type of pizza crust? thin, thick?

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10 Comments

Filed under breakfast, dinner, lunch

10 responses to “Saying NO!

  1. I think saying no is hard to do but absolutely necessary at times to retain sanity! I’m glad you felt better after declining. :-)

    I think I would really like your yoga class. I love yoga + music together. I also noticed that you have your computer on a stand like me! I think it helps my back/neck a lot.

  2. I need to eat more black fungus and lotus seed. They always look so challenging to cook every time I see them in stores.:'(

    I have a serious problem saying no. And sometimes it results in delayed answers and eventually I just have to leave it unanswered because I have to find an excuse as for why I take so long to answer. And then, of course, I’ll end up sitting right next to the person I need to answer to 2 month ago on the subway. Happens all the time lol

    Both! You know how people live NYC always claims that we have the best pizza in the world? haha. Most of the famous pizza joints here have thin crust. But I remember growing up in the 90s and eating pizza in China for the first time, the crusts were always fluffy and thick and very yummy. But then it could’ve been the fact I was 10 year old. :p

  3. I definitely need to say NO more!

    That sounds like an awesome yoga class :)

    And I would definitely have edamame for dessert. They are yummy. I just had the first oatmeal in a while this weekend.

  4. I am so bad at saying no. I’ve tried to get better as I get older but still have trouble!

  5. I have absolutely no issues with saying NO. Actually, it’s one of my favorite things to say. If you don’t stop people right away, upfront, they tend to be relentless.

    Pizza looks great. Nice job, homemade is always better than take-out.

    Look forward to following you here.

    Be well!

  6. DiningAndDishing

    I like thick crust pizza. Chicago deep dish is the ultimate to me, but I’ve only had it once! Dreamed about it since :).

    – Beth @ http://www.DiningAndDishing.com

  7. glad you said no! i find it hard as well because i think i’m superwoman haha. however, i said no last weekend to work because i’ve been working nonstop for 2months!

  8. I am the person who can not say no that easily…..sigh….but the advice sounds very genius!!!
    you are REALLY creative in terms of pizza!!!!! don’t you want to apply for a patent or something? it looks really good!

  9. Love the idea of cottage cheese as an oatmeal topping–yum!
    I love thick crust pizza:)

  10. Those are very useful tips! Whether or not I have trouble saying no really depends on who it is I am dealing with.

    Love all your eats as usual, Coco!!! :)

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