Notions of Love


Committed clarified something to me: what I was sure for >20 years about true love is actually not LOVE, but INFATUATION.

“Infatuation leads to “intrusive thinking” in which you cannot concentrate on anything other than the object of your obsession. Infatuation alters your brain chemistry similar to a cocaine addict. Infatuated lover, just like any junkie, “will go to unhealthy, humiliating, and even physically dangerous lengths to procure their narcotic.” Research shows that people are more susceptible to infatuation when they are going through delicate or vulnerable times in their lives. The new love seems like a EXIT from current problem. But infatuation is not the same thing as love. When you become infatuated with somebody, you’re not really looking at that person; you’re just captivated b your own reflection, intoxicated by a dream of completion that you have projected on a virtual stranger.”

I personally experienced all of the above and I’m glad I did. That was the most exhilarating sensations that I’ve ever experienced. Just as the author says, that kind of love makes you feel superheroic, mytical, beyond human. You radiate life; you need no sleep; your beloved fills your lungs like oxygen. As painful as that experience turned out in the end I would not want anyone to go through an entire lifetime never knowing what it feels like to morph euphorically into another person’s being.

However, I CAN’T LIVE that way!!! That’s not a possible lifestyle for someone who also wants a career, a family and friends, because that person would absorb all your energy and time.

oh…. Thanks Liz, it’s such a relieve to finally understand the difference between love and infatuation!!! :D

Okay. I won’t ask you if you had experience like that. Just tell me your thoughts about this ;)

Now… lets move into something lighter just for your eyes pleasure. I don’t know… lately I enjoy more taking pictures of my food in a style or pure esthetic sense, like lighting, angle, color contrast, etc. Have you noticed that? ;)

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high-fiber & high-fat bread with milk made with soy beans, peanuts and red dates.

During my mini-breaks, I write note to myself :)

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Opened a new tea. It’s called Detox tea, but actually it’s just mate, green tea and lemon grass.

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colorful stir-fry with my favorite seasonings to please my belly and eyes

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purple porridge made with steel cuts & black rice

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and the no-matching chopsticks. I have a problem… I don’t know why but I can’t never grab the right pair :shock:

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re-watching Sex and the city for the 1000th time!! :D
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beauty drink (white fungus, red dates and goji berries) as dessert
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I started to have a bowl of this every night before bed to help me to sleep. It’s the same porridge with lotus seed added.

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it worked most of the nights! :)

Q: When was your first love?

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18 Comments

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18 responses to “Notions of Love

  1. Okay, this is the total American in me speaking but what exactly does the white fungus taste like? I’m so fascinated by it and can’t imagine it would taste much different than some kind of mushroom but I’m so curious!

  2. Love the colourful stirfry, yum!

  3. I love your stir-fries and awesome milks. They’re both so colorful! ;)

  4. Hmm… well I actually havent fallen in love yet. Unless you call my obsession with Rupert Grint love ;)

  5. Great thoughts on love vs. infatuation… I totally agree. I’ve had the infatuation type of ‘love’, and it is definitely a roller-coaster. Though it can be fun (as well as extremely stressful!) it just isn’t sustainable. I’d take healthy, supportive companionship over infatuation any day of the week!
    Your homemade soy/bean/nut milks always look so delicious!

  6. I think I need to but Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book! Everything you’ve spoken about so far sounds really good….and I loved her first one!

    I’m enjoying all the different “milks” you’ve been creating, too. :)

  7. I was infatuated back in high school with someone. With Bobby it started out as something close to infatuation, but over time it has evolved into true, stable, REAL love :)

  8. “…go to unhealthy, humiliating, and even physically dangerous lengths to procure their narcotic.” wow! pretty intense words! can’t say i’ve ever done anything dangerous to spend time with someone else, lol.

    i’ve always thought that the main difference btw infatuation and love is that infatuation wears off and love lasts. i think that love is thrilling, but it gives you energy rather than using it up. i found this quote that pretty much sums up my views on this subject:

    “Infatuation is a temporary sudden burst of emotion. You experience intense sexual attraction to the person. Your feelings have taken over your life. You will start to put the person who seems like the love of your life ahead of the things that used to be important to you.

    You believe your new relationship is infallible until the excitement dwindles. Your emotions start to calm down and you find yourself uninterested in the person. You wonder what happened to the passion. The next thing you know, you have nothing left for the person. You may figure you fell out of love and you move on, in actuality, you were never truly in love.

    True love incorporates all the feelings of infatuation but may present itself at a lower, more constant level….With love your feelings change to a deeper level but they don’t vanish like infatuation.”

  9. whoops…that was really long! sorry!

  10. Learned a new word!! infatuate.. so true :-D

    Your food picture is getting better and better :-D Big congrats!! professional blogger !! You love that new camera, don’t you :)

  11. Your stir fry is so pretty, looks yummy!

    First love? Hmm, I think I had crushes straight out of the womb. ;)

    Jenn

  12. all the desserts you made looks SO good and they really are good for you. I love both of them, and definitely miss how easy it is to buy them back in Hong Kong. ahhh Im’ a bad Asian, I must go buy some red beans in Chinatown this weekend!

  13. Very intriguing thoughts about infatuation vs. love. I’m not sure if I’ve ever experienced either–I’ll let you know when I figure it out:)

  14. I agree that you have to be able to have a ‘separate’ life from your partner, even in a tight relationship. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner any less to have your own activities, pursue your own passions, etc. It just allows you to breathe in the relationship and you have lots to talk about afterwards! My view on this is that you can’t be in a happy, healthy relationship if you’re being suffocated with infatuation (or what you think is love).

    And I do love the aesthetics of your food photos. :)

  15. crazylittlethingneela

    i can notice a difference in your pictures!
    i have been in a serious realtioship in a long time so i don’t have too much advice on that topic but i did enjoy reading your very powerful words at the beginning of this post

  16. all your porridges and chinese goods (like the white fungus) is making me miss home cooking. its a good thing i’m going home this weekend for chinese new years :)

  17. I love Elizabeth Gilbert! Loved the book! I’ve been married for 8 years, no kids. Love being a DINK. Her words on the childless professional woman are right-on! We love being sparents!

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